The title of the entry is specifically about having a "mom meltdown". I'm sure it's not just mothers (that would be sexist, afterall!), but it's the double-edged sword that comes with parenthood. On the one hand, it's a good feeling to be wanted and needed and all of that (and it won't be there forever, right?), but on the other hand sometimes you just want to be left the f--- alone!
It really is hard to describe, but I thought I'd take a stab by describing a typical day for us. Even though each day is really different, depending on what needs to be done...this could very well be a worst case scenario!
The official start of the "day" is at midnight, which is just about the time we're often just crawling into bed. Sometimes we hit the pillow as early as 10, but these days it's at least 11, if not midnight (OCCASIONALLY later).
Almost like clockwork, Jared must realize that we've turned in and he wakes up, wanting to have a snack. Sometimes it doesn't happen until after we've actually fallen asleep (which is even better, right?), but usually he's in search of some of the finest that mommy has to offer, after which he nods off again.
Anywhere between 2:30 and 4:30, he wakes up again these days, wanting to be fed. Depending on how "tapped out" I am in the milk department, he'll either nurse or I'll run downstairs to get him a bottle. Eat...and back to bed.
If he aims for the earlier part of that time frame that I gave above, then there's a strong likelihood of another wake-up and eat session before the alarms start going off.
Worst case scenario...he's up to eat at midnight, 2, 4 and 6...OK...so even worse would be if he doesn't go back to sleep. Typically it's 3 times after "bedtime" that I get up with him.
6:30a.m. is when alarms start going off. Mike gets up and hops in the shower and starts getting ready for work. As soon as he's out, I hop in, and Mike gets dressed and we combine efforts to get the boys ready (half the time I jump in just as Mike's finishing up with Jared, and typically Mike takes the reins with Daniel). I head downstairs to make Jared's bottles, pack his bag, grab some extra clothes for Daniel and we head out the door.
Drop the kids off at daycare as early as 7:30 (wishful thinking!), but usually around 8. Depending on the day of the week, Mike and I either carpool (and he drops me off), or we drive separately. It used to be on Tuesdays and Thursdays that we drove separately, just so Mike could stay later to do some time-dependent things for work.
So on those days, I get to work around 8:30, work until about 5 (sometimes closer to 5:30) and then I head out to pick up the boys. Arrive at the daycare around 6, load the boys into the car, and luckily for us, it's a 3 minute car ride across the street to home.
At home, I like to think of it as a carefully choreographed routine that takes place after the kids are unloaded and inside...but it's really done on the fly!
Turn on the television, Daniel plops in front of the TV and his show is started. Luckily, Jared will watch too. While they're distracted even for a few moments, I'll either run and wash up some dishes, or grab some laundry to throw in (and if I'm really lucky, one of the boys will have come home in their "spare" clothes...so I'll have poo/pee/food/dirt/paint to get out of their other clothes). Jared starts whining for something more substantial than his bottle. Daniel wants a snack. A little package of gummy fruit snacks holds the older one off for a while, and I pick up Jared, plop him in the high-chair and fix some cereal and a fruit/veggie for him. Feed...wipe face...and then I can put Jared in the exersaucer or on his back on the floor to play with some toys.
Daniel...he's been weird about eating these days! Hopefully by that time, Mike gets home, but on those two days I mentioned above, he's gotten home with a few minutes to spare before hopping on the computer again and doing some more things for work.
So Jared is taken care of in the food department, Daniel has had some junky snacks, and I'm still debating about what's for dinner. Time to make it! Daniel tries to "help" with that sometimes, Jared fusses sometimes...in either case, making dinner needs to be FAST and care taken that nothing boils over or burns or otherwise.
Then the eating part. Daniel's recent pickiness means that he probably won't like what Mike and I eat. So he drags me to the cabinet or the refrigerator...fruit snacks? crackers? popsicle? juice? It can be any number of things, but it means that I get up a lot.
Daniel (might) eventually eats...Mike is better at convincing than I am sometimes (depending on the food...if it's something he likes, like pizza, he'll feed himself). I finish up whatever I was eating, Mike eats, and then it's time for baths and showers upstairs!
Mike usually takes Daniel for a shower, while I washcloth down Jared, put hydrocortisone or prescription eczema cream on him...diaper change...maybe another bottle or breastfeeding...and into the swing. Jared usually goes down pretty easily, and like clockwork around 8.
No sooner than Jared goes down, Daniel's ready for bed as well. A little playtime and hugs, kisses and night-nights.
It's now 8:30-9pm...roughly. Time to clear up the dishes from dinner, maybe finish up the laundry that I started earlier. Yep, I just keep going.
Then I have a recently self-imposed break. Facebook! G+! I get some silly social networking games in before hitting my online class. From then until I either hit a wall, or around 10-11...I grade or answer discussion questions.
So...is it any wonder that I crash at night? :)
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