Third Trimester: Happenings and Challenges

It's been a while since I updated this blog (in particular), or just about any of the other ones I keep for my kids and so on.  This entry is going to be more of a "catch up", as well as a preface to what is to come in the near future.

First and foremost, I'm now in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy!  The 27 week mark was yesterday, and I'm not sure my exact feelings on that.  Each pregnancy seems to go by more and more quickly, and there's part of me that just wants to hang on to it...babies are so much easier when they are inside of you, and there's a certain excitement that comes with just being pregnant.  This one is a baby girl, which we found out at the beginning of April, and as of a week and a half ago, she's still a girl (yeah, I know, ultrasounds are pretty accurate and all, and she didn't have a penis at 18 weeks, what made me think she'd have one at 25?).

The other news that came down yesterday packed a bit more of a devastating blow.  Without any warning (and I say this because, while there are clues leading up to this that make sense in context, there's no way any of us were actually expecting), our lab has been dissolved.  Disintegrated.  Poof.  I've never witnessed anything like it before, and I've fallen victim myself to lack of funding problems and the like.  The circumstances are not that we didn't have funding, either.  It was that the institute, apparently, decided that it needed to make up for some indirect costs by just getting rid of all of us.  One PI, one post-doc (me), three RA's and a biospecimen coordinator (two of the RA's also are graduate students, a masters and a Ph.D. student).  Two of us are pregnant.

For those who don't me, and maybe for those who do even, I thrive on having a plan in place for everything. I love it when a plan comes together (ala A-Team, right?), and when I don't have a plan or something seriously throws off my plans, it drives me crazy.  I think the lack of control actually might drive a depression as well.  So when the news came down that our last day is June 14th (that's the "official" day things start going down...each individual person has different circumstances that we don't all fully understand), it blew up my plans for upcoming maternity leave, blew up my plans for having health insurance in place that I was familiar with, blew up plans for writing and grant applications, and blew up plans I had for what I was going to do when my oldest starts kindergarten in August.

Anyway, there's a lot more to it than even I fully understand.  There's a lot of unknowns.  There's a lot of hurt feelings, sadness, and so on.  There's a lot of "what do we do now", a lot of panic.  And right now, I feel like I need to be in survival mode.  Until I hear otherwise, all I can do is to apply to jobs like crazy and hope that I can find something before baby girl arrives.

In the mean time, I might take the opportunity to document my job search here.  Honestly, this is not anything I thought I'd have to do while being a pregnant post-doc.

First Trimester - Completed!

So it's been a while since I logged an entry here, but I suppose with good reason (or several).  The first trimester has been notoriously rough for me in the past, and this pregnancy wasn't really an exception.  I'm just starting to come out of the going-to-throw-up-all-the-time phase, and entering the brief lull before my expanding waist line makes some things less comfortable.

I threw up.  A lot.  I gagged.  A lot.  My almost 2-year old's dirty diapers could send me running for the bathroom (or kitchen...my favorite place to throw up was the kitchen sink for some reason).  The smell of the cats and whatever job they did in their litterbox (or outside of...eww!) set me off.  Luckily (said with hesitation), my job did NOT set me off nearly as much as last go-around.  That's not to say I never threw up or gagged at work.  There just didn't seem to be nearly as many triggers.

A few things that also helped me to avoid being "found out" at work (which, by the way, no one I work with knows that I'm pregnant.  Pretty sneaky, huh?) was a combination of Zofran, a wonderfully placed winter holiday (Christmas Break), and probably just having been through this before.  I started taking Zofran earlier than during my last pregnancy.  By the time I got the prescription for it last time around, I was taking it every other or every third day, versus really needing it daily to make it through my day.  Sucking on hard candy and preggy pop drops also helped.

Morning sickness was part of it (it's pretty much the major thing I focus on during the first trimester), but also suffering from some pretty nasty constipation as a side effect of the Zofran and being so darn dehydrated, and having a small bleed (sub-chorionic hemorrhage) added to the excitement.  Oddly, I haven't felt the extreme I-have-to-sleep-now-I'm-falling-over-exhausted thing as dramatically.  I'm tired, and I want to sleep more, but it seemed like previous pregnancies were worse for that.

I'm glad for the first trimester to be over (I'm exactly 13 weeks today!), for the first few doctors appointments to come and go, and for the screening tests to come back favorably.  With this kiddo, I'm of "advanced maternal age" (I'm old...hahaha!), but everything has come back with all indications that this baby is just fine.

Now for the hurdles of the second trimester.  "Coming out" and announcing the pregnancy will probably be in about a month.  Starting to plan for maternity leave will come sooner than I realize.  And, of course, all of the other things going on right now having two other kids at home...one of whom is starting kindergarten around the time this little one arrives, and the other who seems to want to start potty training sooner rather than later.  I hope to update more soon!

How many things...

I used to be infatuated with numbers and doing blog posts with different types of numbers on them.  That hasn't changed, really...I'm still infatuated with numbers.  I just haven't posted lately with any.

So back in the day, I used to post about how much I'd eaten in a day and how much I weighed (ala Bridget Jones).  I'd add in there whatever song was in my head and so on (not number worthy, but interesting possibly).  Nowadays, I'd rather not share my weight (ha-ha-ha!) and my eating habits aren't really all that fun anymore.  My clothes aren't that awesome or cute anymore either.  But my obsession since going from the "post-partum" post-doc to the "trying again" post-doc has been test sticks.  Yep, the ones you pee on.

Because I'm too tired to get too much into the story behind my use of these things and what exactly they're used for, I'll give the numbers and run.

Question:  How many HPTs have I taken this year?
Answer:  9...3 dollar store, 5 internet cheapies ("wondfo") and a First Response

Question:  How many OPKs have I taken this year?
Answer:  A lot.  I honestly can't count.  4 dollar store, and over 20 internet cheapies.

Question:  How many cycles?
Answer:  5, if you include the one that started as a result of Mirena withdrawl.

Stay tuned...

Fun Birth Facts

I will warn you in advance; this is a little bit of an off-the-wall post.  Given that I'm a scientist, I'm naturally fascinated by the sorts of statistics that I'm about to give.  As a hopefully soon to be, but not quite yet pregnant post-doc mommy, it helps me pass the time.  So here goes.

Did you know that more babies are born in September than in any other month of the year?  For those that can do the math, that coincides with conception around the holidays.  I'm not one for having a baby with an autumn birthday (my own personal reasons), but it isn't as though I'd send the kid back if they came out in September.  My own children were born in July and March, and I can honestly say I was the least amount of miserable with the March baby.

Did you know that more babies are born on Tuesday?  And fewer babies pop out on the weekends?  I, personally, was born on a Monday.  My oldest was a Wednesday, and youngest on a Friday, so no weekend babies there.  I suppose I have no preference there.

The average age of first time moms (according to BabyCenter) in 2008 was 25.  I must have missed that memo, or I'm above average, as I was 31 when I had my first, 33 when I had my second, and will likely be 36 when I have my 3rd (and I only get older from there).

Mean gestational age for singleton births is 38.7 weeks (got this one from the CDC).  Both mine were born before that (does that make me above or below average?)

Now this is sort of interesting information...(once again, from BabyCenter, edited a little).

67% of first-time mom's worked during their pregnancy
80% of first-time mom's who worked during the last month of pregnancy
55% of moms who were working six months after giving birth

I have to say, I fit into all of those categories.  I was working, definitely in my last month of pregnancy and went back to work at 6 weeks post-partum.  With my oldest, I had a doctor's note to be off of work at 36 weeks (which one of my employers ignored, yet another story), and he popped out at 38w4d.  I showed up to work in labor with my 2nd one (so, while I technically didn't work the day he was born, I had him less than 16 hours after leaving work).

As for being off of work in the last month of pregnancy...can we say "yeah right???".  In my last two months of pregnancy, people would ask if I was going to take time off before the baby came.  As things got closer, more people at work wondered why I wasn't already off work (remember, I'm the dilation queen!).  My answers ranged from "I can't, don't have the time to take off", to "What would I do with time off...sit around the house and twiddle my thumbs?".  I even convinced myself that I had a lot to do before leaving, so I really couldn't just up and take off of work.  It made me hugely nervous when I was checked at 3cm at 34 weeks.

Anyway, enough of a stroll down memory lane, and applying my life to the statistics.  I know statistics are no indication of the future, but at the rate I'm going, I should plan on working, plan on working in the last month of pregnancy, and returning to work (definitely!) six months after giving birth.  And, don't forget, having a kid before the timer hits 40 weeks!

Post-Doc Appreciation Week

It's a bit overdue, but Post-Doc appreciation week was last week!  I sometimes think that there are hokey, made up holiday things, and that this might be no different.  This wasn't the "first" appreciation week.  But the first that I've had that warm fuzzy feeling at having being recognized during the week!

It started out on Monday, when I was "found" by a member of our institute's "culture committee".  A card!  I have to say that really made my afternoon!

And then, later in the week, I got a thank-you card from my awesome boss (and I do say awesome, because she is, and not because I'm trying to kiss up!).  Don't know if it was "for" appreciation week, but I had an awesome week!  It's kind of fun to have an appreciation week set aside that is meant for so few.  It's like my birthday, but I don't have to turn a year older.  It's different than, say, Mother's Day, because I don't have to share it with a billion other mothers.  Anyway...thanks everyone!

When Mommy Post-Doc Gets Sick

What can I say...I have two little kids in daycare, and I've managed to dodge a few bullets this year already (when child 2 had hand-foot-and-mouth for the 3rd time and when both boys have had the dreaded ear goo), so it's bound to happen that I get a cold eventually.

Both kids have been coughing for a while (although not acting sick, and no fever to be had), and my other half had a nasty cough a week or so ago.  Tuesday of last week I woke up with what I thought were allergies.  Then my nose started to drip spontaneously at work (not good when working in a lab, f.y.i.).  This continued onto Wednesday and into Thursday, where on Thursday I thought it best to do the NyQuil thing at night.  Friday I took a half day, head throbbing, coughing, sniffling and all of that (the prototypical NyQuil commercial).  Saturday I added a sore ear to the mix, and without really getting any better over the weekend, I came to work today (Monday) because I want to work and I have loads to get done!

So here I sit, my ear plugged up, making it hard to hear (it sounds like there's a piece of wax paper pulled taught over it, so everything, especially voices, vibrates!).  My eyes are behaving weirdly, and my contacts are getting dried out or something, making it hard to see 100% clearly.  At least my head feels OK and the nose drips are gone.  And I don't look like the walking dead, so I don't think anyone is going to send me home.

In the end, what I have decided is this.  I could be at home, resting it off, but missing out on today.  I'd rather save the sick day for when I'm really knocked-on-my-butt ill.  I have experiments planned out for this week, contingent on me starting them today, so I don't want to mess that up either.  And then there's the nights and weekends where I might not get a whole lot of rest either.  I just keep going...and somehow the constant go-go-go keeps me upright and under the illusion that I feel fine.  If I wasn't a mommy, and wasn't a post-doc, then I might be home.  Or at least getting the rest after work that I could really use.

Maternity Leave

I think I might have mentioned in a previous post something regarding how fickle maternity leave is for post-docs (or maybe anyone in the academic science community?).  I've talked to women (and I guess a few men, as it related to their significant others) who have mentioned that they had little to no maternity leave available when a new baby arrived.  There was the story of a woman, who, as a post-doc could only take a couple of days off (the time she was in the hospital) before she had to return to the lab.  She mentioned that her newborn took up residence in one of the filing cabinet drawers of her office.  Another that I remember hearing about had adopted twins, and could only take off a short amount of time (vacation time) before losing whatever seniority she had within her department.

My first "maternity leave" was pretty simple...I was teaching at the time, and I was due in July (when classes were out of session).  So, technically, my department heads at the university and the community college didn't even really need to be the wiser about the fact that I was pregnant at all (my department head at the community college only realized that I was pregnant when I came in for my end of class review in May).  I got "lucky" in the sense that my son was born ten days early, so he ended up being just over 6-weeks old and able to go to daycare when classes started again in the fall.  I wasn't getting paid over the summer, so I didn't have a paid maternity leave, really (I did qualify for unemployment, but that's another story/fiasco all together).

My second maternity leave was a bit more calculated.  When I was interviewing at my present place of employment, one of the questions I asked HR was what is the policy on maternity leave.  Luckily (and I say that without sarcasm this time!), it's covered under short-term disability.  I was thrilled, especially since my last leave wasn't paid, and I know it would be difficult if I was unpaid after the birth of another baby.  I had 6-weeks and 1 day off of work, and I can honestly say that I wish I could have had another couple of weeks (maybe with #3 I'll have more saved up time off?).


So now I'm going to end this with a statistic and a little picture I found on the inter-webs, because I really am trying to make a point here.  Maternity leave in the U.S. kinda sucks.  Having had both scenarios play out (paid and unpaid leave), it's kind of pathetic that there isn't more time.  Especially when you compare it to other countries.  It makes me wonder what the statistics for other countries look like specifically for those in the life science/lab research fields.