28 Weeks and Pre-Term Labor

I'll take a bit of time to share a little bit about the latest happenings...in the sense that this sort of thing could happen to anyone, apparently including this pregnant post-doc!  So, cutting right to the chase, here's the blow-by-blow of the events of the past few days!

Still not fully recovered from the news of last week, I think the stress of it all hit EVERYONE pretty hard.  There is no way of knowing how much of an impact that had on what happened/what is happening...I hate to speculate on that...but it's hard to deny that stress can manifest in physical ways.

At my 24 week check, I reported to the doctor that I was having Braxton Hicks contractions, but they didn't seem regular, and definitely not painful.  Occasionally, I'd have one that would throw me for a loop and stop me in my tracks, but it was less than daily.  Stress levels increased at work last week, and I noticed that I was having the same contractions, but the painful ones turned to once a day, to a couple of times a day.  Frequency picked up on Monday and Tuesday, and I was going through all of the things to try and calm them down (laying down when I could, sitting more, drinking lots of water, etc).  In fact, drinking water was making them WORSE, anecdotally speaking, but everything I was doing was not changing them.  But, at this point, I figured they were just BH contractions, benign and normal practice contractions.

Wednesday I almost looked forward to because I had a meeting with HR to discuss the terms of my departure.  I thought that having answers and a timeline would make me a bit more relaxed (so I could plan for the future).  Instead, no change.  I debated long and hard about just waiting until my 28 week appointment the next day, but decided to call the nurse just to see if there was something I could try to make myself more comfortable (and see if I was just missing out on doing something I should be!).  Instead, they had me come in, just to be on the safe side and be checked.

I had my appointment at 1:30, expected the standard vaginal check and figured I'd get a reassurance that everything was OK.  I wasn't leaking amniotic fluid (I didn't figure that I was, but hey, easy test!), and they were going to do a fetal fibronectin swab just in case (I also expected that to be negative).  Cervical dilation, well, I am a master dilator and when they start the checks usually I'm usually a pro in that department.  I don't know if I was shocked or not that I was, indeed, a cm or so dilated.  So, just because it was available, and possibly convenient, or she wanted a good measure, the doctor sent me to the ultrasound tech.  There, she found that my cervix was about 1.5cm dilated, but also shortening...down to 1cm in length, instead of the usual 3-5cm that they see at that point.  More as a precaution at this point, the doctor sent me with the fFN test to the hospital to get hooked up to contraction monitors and await the results of the test.

As a bit of a breather here, and summary...as each of these occurred, I kept thinking that I'd be heading home soon.  I figured I'd go thru triage at the hospital, maybe it'd show the 4 contractions I clocked each hour, mentally, get the test results and then go home.  Maybe it'd earn me a bit of time off of work and orders to take it easy.  Who knew.

Instead...the biggest piece to the puzzle came back, and adding up all of the changes that my body was undergoing earned me a 3 night stay in the hospital.  Fetal fibronectin came back positive.  I was contracting a few more times an hour than I thought.  Cervix dilating.  I was on track to potentially deliver SOON.

At which point, I was prepared for admission...IV started, first shot of steroids, magnesium sulfate to stop contractions.  I went from being uncomfortable from my belly having "false labor" contractions (or so I thought) to being hooked up to wires, tubes and monitors.  I was in pre-term labor...and it was the most serious thing I can ever think of happening to me, possibly in my lifetime.

(to be continued)

First Trimester - Completed!

So it's been a while since I logged an entry here, but I suppose with good reason (or several).  The first trimester has been notoriously rough for me in the past, and this pregnancy wasn't really an exception.  I'm just starting to come out of the going-to-throw-up-all-the-time phase, and entering the brief lull before my expanding waist line makes some things less comfortable.

I threw up.  A lot.  I gagged.  A lot.  My almost 2-year old's dirty diapers could send me running for the bathroom (or kitchen...my favorite place to throw up was the kitchen sink for some reason).  The smell of the cats and whatever job they did in their litterbox (or outside of...eww!) set me off.  Luckily (said with hesitation), my job did NOT set me off nearly as much as last go-around.  That's not to say I never threw up or gagged at work.  There just didn't seem to be nearly as many triggers.

A few things that also helped me to avoid being "found out" at work (which, by the way, no one I work with knows that I'm pregnant.  Pretty sneaky, huh?) was a combination of Zofran, a wonderfully placed winter holiday (Christmas Break), and probably just having been through this before.  I started taking Zofran earlier than during my last pregnancy.  By the time I got the prescription for it last time around, I was taking it every other or every third day, versus really needing it daily to make it through my day.  Sucking on hard candy and preggy pop drops also helped.

Morning sickness was part of it (it's pretty much the major thing I focus on during the first trimester), but also suffering from some pretty nasty constipation as a side effect of the Zofran and being so darn dehydrated, and having a small bleed (sub-chorionic hemorrhage) added to the excitement.  Oddly, I haven't felt the extreme I-have-to-sleep-now-I'm-falling-over-exhausted thing as dramatically.  I'm tired, and I want to sleep more, but it seemed like previous pregnancies were worse for that.

I'm glad for the first trimester to be over (I'm exactly 13 weeks today!), for the first few doctors appointments to come and go, and for the screening tests to come back favorably.  With this kiddo, I'm of "advanced maternal age" (I'm old...hahaha!), but everything has come back with all indications that this baby is just fine.

Now for the hurdles of the second trimester.  "Coming out" and announcing the pregnancy will probably be in about a month.  Starting to plan for maternity leave will come sooner than I realize.  And, of course, all of the other things going on right now having two other kids at home...one of whom is starting kindergarten around the time this little one arrives, and the other who seems to want to start potty training sooner rather than later.  I hope to update more soon!

Breastfeeding

This might end up being a peculiar post...but one that just came to me the other night.

Breastfeeding. I have a very interesting relationship with it, and there are aspects of it that I struggle to explain, even to myself. I'll start by saying that one of the things that I've noticed is that I actually enjoy it more with Jared than I think I did with Daniel. There is something calming and relaxing about it that, again, is really difficult to describe.

Having said that, I'll get into my particular experience with breastfeeding. When Daniel was born, I had NO idea what to do. Everyone (people in childbirth classes and those providing advice online) had mentioned that right after the baby is born, they are typically very interested in nursing. They are alert for about the first hour after birth, and probably a little hungry, so it's prime time to try it. Unfortunately, in the delivery room, there was quite a delay with trying it. Daniel came out, was cleaned up and handed to me. It was nearing time for a shift change, and tacked on to the fact that it was super early in the morning (no lactation consultants on staff), he didn't get to really "try". We were in the delivery room for what seemed like an exhorbant amount of time after he was actually out (a few hours) before he was taken to the nursery and I was transferred to another room. It was probably a good hour or hour and a half before he got to "try" nursing. Since I had no idea, and he had no idea, it didn't go over well.

So Daniel's first "attempt" went poorly because it was like the blind leading the blind. During our time in the hospital after that, I have never had my boobs manhandled so much before in my life. Daniel clawed at me like a baby wolverine and screamed like crazy. There didn't seem to be much coming out either at that time. Lastly, if there wasn't a nurse around to help me, I became very hesitant to try it on my own.

OK so why did I want to breastfeed? I wasn't OPPOSED to formula feeding...that wasn't the point. First reason was the health benefits...and it was my hope that at least he got some breastmilk. Second was the cost. It was free! When Daniel was born, Mike had a steady job, but I was piecing together employment still. Armed with those two reasons, it was good enough to give it the old college try, at least for a while. Other reasons came up later.

I persisted. My milk "came in" when we were re-admitted too the hospital to treat jaundice. The hospital gave me a pump to use while I was there, and I had the first break-through moment where I was able to collect milk! It wasn't a lot, but it was some! I also continued trying to breastfeed. I continued to keep at it, attended breastfeeding groups and built up confidence a bit. The biggest improvement came when one night Daniel was crying for food, and while Mike prepared a bottle, I stuck Daniel up to my chest (which was dripping!) and shoved a boob in his mouth. It worked! He ate!

I still wasn't making a lot, and after my 6-week post-partum visit, I was newly equipped with Reglan, which ramped up my production. It was awesome! The next two reasons I liked breastfeeding came up. Number three was the ability to just feed on demand. No messing around with bottles in the middle of the night. The first time that I fed Daniel and he fell asleep, seemingly satisfied, was a major feeling of accomplishment for me. Reason number four was also showing...weight loss for mommy!

So that really long story aside, I feel as though I really worked at breastfeeding. Daniel still got a lot of formula, and I never was able to breastfeed solely...but I still felt accomplished.

Along came Jared. I felt way more prepared with him, and it didn't hurt that he not only got the opportunity to nurse right in the delivery room, but he seem to take to it quite easily! As time went on, he nursed pretty well (from both sides even...something that had been a challenge before).

Another thing that was interesting with Jared (and one of the motivating reasons to dedicate an entire blog post to this) was how much more relaxing things have been for both of us. I've found the process of nursing to be much more relaxing, if I have the time to really sit and enjoy it. It's so relaxing to get comfortable in a chair or on the bed with a nice pillow and let him have a good meal. Rubbing his little head and the fuzzy hair on it. Watching his eyes close drowsily. Listening to him swallow and watching him rhythmically suck. Not to get too technical, but I'm sure there's hormones being released there.

Even though he's now 5 months old, there are relaxing aspects to it still. He's at daycare during the day, so no opportunity for him to nurse then. At night, right before he goes to bed, there have been several times where he relaxes so much when he's nursing. I don't know if he's actually getting a lot of milk, or if it's the sucking action and being close to his mommy that really relaxes him and often sends him into a happy sleep.

How long will it last? I have no idea...the way things are going, I'm inclined to just keep going. Part of me thinks that pumping might dwindle, but if he can have those times in the evening where he nurses (or overnight) then it'll be worth it!

What sleep deprivation does to you...take 1

OK so it's already been said that we have a 5 month old. We thought we had things down pretty well with this little guy, since he started (mostly) sleeping through the night when I started back to work and he started going to daycare at around 6 weeks old. The "stimulation" from daycare kept him up a little bit more, so he'd do pretty well at night. And before that, things weren't so bad either (going to bed around 8 and he'd wake up once or twice).

Then this weird thing happened. He reverted! I've read about that sleep reversion thing, but I don't remember a whole lot about Daniel going through that. What I did remember with Daniel was that it was food related and starting him on cereal helped to fill his tummy, which translated to him sleeping longer.

The reasons behind Jared waking are not really the point here...but rather what sleep deprivation has done to me.

Just today...I have:

1. Gone to put in my contacts, grabbed an old (empty) case, and put my finger in it and it took a good 10 seconds to realize that there was no contact on my finger...boo!

2. Spaced out on an entire conversation/argument/confrontation going on in my lab about 5 feet away.

3. Forgotten what I was going to say while I was in the process of saying it.

In the past week:

4. Gone to take some Advil, but instead grabbed the Zoloft and took one of those. After that, I went into the fridge to grab something to wash it down with, and put the Zoloft bottle in the fridge. When I turned back around, I realized that I hadn't taken Advil, and the only reason that I realized that the Zoloft was in the fridge was because I almost put the ADVIL into the fridge instead of the juice.

5. Left my dry ice bucket in the tissue culture room

OK so the last one I could have easily done on any other day that I wasn't lacking for sleep.

I think I need to stop here and have my nap...so I shall return!